MIA

Got this title after seeing John's newest post. Yea, have gone MIA for a while. Have been busy lately, no time for writing. When I finally got a chance to visit my blog, I changed the template and blog name. Thanks to the author for the template, it makes me feel cozy and comfortable, and feel like getting myself a cup of coffee and enjoy the whole weekend and lazy morning.

Life is to be appreciated, time is to be grabbed hold on. Sometimes you might have forgotten the meaning of your life, and thought that you always have more time. And when the time comes, at the end of the day, you will then realize what you've been missing all these while. That's why people said, you'll never know what you have till it's gone. I guess that's what it means, that we're sucks in choosing priority in life as we always ignore our most important things.

Sit back and take a minute to think on what's worth losing and what's not. If possible, don't defy what makes you happy.

Deprivation

I'm in deprivation. Deprive of the small little things which is important in my life. 2 weeks of feeling nothing but only work is really not a great thing to do. I'm afraid that it is about to reach the limit.

Small little things like watching movies, exercising, listening to music, house chores...are now occupied by work and OTs. Most importantly, spending quality time with people I love, my family, small little chit-chats, having dinner together, watching short drama together have got replaced too.

Can't put myself at ease, even to get the big award when I've lost the time which shouldn't have been sacrificed. How the pressure has been inadequately propagated, leaving everyone with the feeling of restlessness, have left us with no interest of the big outcome.

Battery getting low, time to sign off for tomorrow's another day of OT.

"1938"

My dad has been the biggest fan for the number "1938" since I bought my car. But the number has never shown itself up in the damacai, sports toto or the magnum 4d. When I first bought the car, me and my dad were the biggest fans for this number. After a few betting, I've decided to give up, but my dad is still betting. Most of the nights, he would be asking me to go to his favourite websites to check out the numbers and asking me whether I see 1938. It's actually quite exciting and funny when my dad and mum would be asking me or my sister to "open the number" (in hokkien). :D They'll then ask me to make the number bigger and then glancing through each numbers and recalling whether they have bought any of them. Nombor ekor...it seems to be the most popular hobby of many people of my parent's age. :D

1938, my dad hasn't given up on the number after so many months. I guess he must have faith to be able to strike at least some prize with 1938 one day. So I hope that 1938 will do me proud and wish my dad and mum good luck on their bettings! :D

Back in Bangkok

Part of the wall taken from Suvharnabumi Airport. H1N1 has most of the Asian wearing mask, but not "Farang" (guai lou) Prevention is better than cure, thus I follow suit too, wearing my mask when I'm at the airport.

"Kafe Yan". Can you believe that this tall cup cost only 30 BHT? I enjoy buying "Kafe Yan" at the little stalls which can be found around the city. They have latte, mocha, capucinno, you name it, they have it. I did get to ask the lady how much the coffee beans grinder cost. It's not cheap, around RM 1900. How I wish that we have little stalls like this in KL...

I'll be

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

I'll Be - Edwin Mccain

Lost my voice

Have not been updating my blog for quite sometimes. Have been busy recently, phew...packed with activities, with work..this and that. Hope everyone has been fine and in the pink of health, coz I was not for the last few days. Lost my voice when I was on my working trip to Bangkok, luckily it was after meeting.

Losing your voice is never good, as you really gotta rest your vocal cords and it's kind of hard when you can't really express yourself through speaking. Every morning I wake up to test my voice by speaking "Hello" to myself, and find that it's still coarse until today that it sounds better and at last...I can sing with a little harsh voice.

I'm singing...yes..I'm still singing...Glad to have my voice back. :)

Next time if you ever lost your voice, get Honey and mix it with warm water. Drink it every few hours. It helps.

乱七八糟的语言

Want to learn some hokkien word? See some of the below :

机炸 - cicak
哈密 - hamik (what)
波后球 - bo ho chio (not funny)
金后球 - jin ho chio (very funny)
鲁A小INK金碎 - lu eh xiao eng jin sui (your photo looks pretty)
鲁躲加聊 - lu dua ziak liao (your gaining size)
马纳物 - mana wu (don't think so)
物色鸟气 - wu seh niao qi (have a little small mouse)
思波? - si boh? (really?)
哇地秋瓜 - wa di chiu gua (I'm singing)
被大汗 - beh tahan

想学英文？请看以下的翻译 ：

可累机 - crazy
哦搜意思 - oh, so easy
又试图逼, 哎都玩都毒都又 - Make a guess, what does this mean?

Thanks to Teacher Auyong...

Lil' Encouragement

Life is not easy, we all know. Take your breath, move along.

You know you may complain and grumble, go on and take your time. Just make sure you stop when it's time to stop. It's then time to solve problem.

Free it, if keeping your emotion is killing inside and you're afraid that it will give you heart attack. Cry and sing aloud your favourite song. Until you feel better, say to yourself, "It's not that bad".

Keep a good mindset. Look at the brighter side.

Be patience. Don't say you can't before you even try it. Don't say you've tried before you even see yourself being patient.

Be strong and be fit. Keeping in shape is constant daily workout.

Always think how lucky you are.

You may push yourself to the limit in everything you do, but do love yourself. Don't fall off the edge.

Apart from all these, chillax. :)

Gone too soon

I was watching Micheal Jackson's tribute concert where his family and friends were giving their speeches. It's unbelievable how much his life has touched the people around him, with an enormous influence. Seeing now he's gone, just like that, it's hard to accept that a life can be so fragile.

I've known only a few of his famous songs, until some of his old songs were brought up in the radio as well as this song "Gone Too Soon" which was sung by Usher in the concert. It was a touching and meaningful song. Most of the time we don't know what we have till it's gone. Yes, it's true. We always know it's true. Applying this to our life, we throw tantrums to the people closest to us, we show our disagreement disregarding how they feel, we sometimes ignored spending time with them as we thought we will always have them at our side. Remind this to ourselves always, our patience will always starts with the people closest to us.

Ups and downs happened to everyone and he might have suffered pain and sorrows and struggled through the ridicule like how we normal people are going through, no exceptions. After all, what we can feel and know from this superstar, was that he's keeping his faith and always reaching for his dreams.

Like what one of his friend had said in his speech. I'm glad that I live in this era to be able to see Micheal Jackson, and how he has taken his effort and love in changing this world. What I'm affected the most is realizing time slips away before you even know it. Don't take things for granted, celebrate each and every moment that we have with the one we loved. We might not be able to influence like how Michael Jackson is capable of, but it's the least that we can do. No sentimental sense needed nor genius brain, love is what we all know and can give.

The Weekenders

I believe we all are weekenders, coz we all love weekends! I tend to squeeze all my personal activities to the 2-day weekend. Making myself occupied that I've forgotten to rest or maybe I don't want to rest, don't want to even take a nap, maybe it's too precious for me?

Some people love to take naps during weekends. Some people enjoy taking long breakfast. I'm one of them. I like to wake up early just to have breakfast, to feel the warmth of the morning sun, to enjoy eating and talking. That's really the best part.

Some people go for a walk or jog with friends, some people enjoy sleeping till afternoon and go for lunch. Some just love shopping while some love watching series. It's great lying on the bed, watching series in whatever position you like.

Some love to lazy around surfing net, then in the afternoon, they go for tea break or coffee break, or maybe cendol + rojak. Some stay up late at night to surf net and blogging till late midnight. This would be what hardcore bloggers do I guess during weekends. :D

Some people who hardly get some rest during weekdays, weekend will be their resting day. For those people who work during weekends, please avoid and don't work too late if it's unavoidable.

So..it's Friday..have you had your plans made for the weekends? Whichever way you're spending your weekends, I do hope that you enjoy it to the max! :)

The Meteor

Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.
Edward Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 23, p.514

Always love quotes like this. It goes right into the heart, drench the soul with the exhilarating passion. It makes you believe the head over heels and the need of feeling whole again. Expressing love has never been beautiful. :)

My Workspace

Going through the photos folder, then saw this pic. It's a picture of my workspace in SCIB when I was working in Bangkok.

First look, organization in mess. I put the whole stack of paper on my left table and all the little notes magnetted on the side of the CPU. Titbits as well, will be on my left. I love eating while working, mouth munching while 2 hands on the keyboard. On and off just to bring the food to my mouth. I sound "eat-a-lot" eh..

Once in a while, I will clean up my workspace, as suggested by my ex-colleague. "Clean up your workspace if you're stucked doing programming, after clean, it will come naturally to you." Not sure whether it works, but I will do that once in a while when I'm stucked. For the sake of the program and myself. :D

I believe that's basically the standard workspace look for all the programmers out there. Total mess or organized mess.

So how's your workspace look like?

Marley & Me

Finished "Marley & Me". Can't believe that my tears actually flow towards the end of the book. I'm not being sentimental, but I can feel the loss that the author had had towards Marley when he's gone.

Reading book always give the details. Pieces here and there that I get to understand dog's training, dog's life, understand what type of dog Marley is, and to know that dogs like Marley do exist around the world. :)

I always wanted to keep dog as pet one day, when I got my own place :) "Chico" was my first pet dog, he had been my playmate for 2 years. As I'm not capable to take care of him, we had to send him away. I did miss him and still remember him always. :)

The most important part of this book would be the part where it makes us realize that, a dog has no use of fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A dog judges others not by their color or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. :)

A nice book to read. :)

Weekend Eve

On this weekend eve, I feel overwhelming. Yes, in terms of feeling, mind, thoughts, physically. And I'm trying to calm myself down now. No kidding. This type of overwhelming feeling has been coming on and off recently these years. And it's here again on this weekend eve. Seriously, sometimes I'm afraid that this is going to get me heart attack, coz I can sense adrenaline pumping and I'm in the state of anxiety.

Ok, guess I've gotta slow down things here. Play some songs, yes. It really helps. Now sitting here chatting with my fellow friends. Suddenly it feels great on this friday night, that I feel calm, right at this moment, missing island, missing the sand, the sea, the wave...just can't explain how much you can feel away from all the complications, the routines, the anxieties.

At last, I've found comfort before going to sleep. :)
Sweet Dream to all the dreamers. Good Night. :)

Green Green Grass of Home - Sekinchan

It's a wonderful photo shooting trip to Sekinchan. Thanks John for taking us to his Green Green Grass of Home and introduced us to the special cuisine - "Tiger Shark" :) Have had a great time with you guys, Auyong and Stanley. :) Really a getaway and wonderful place with the blue sky and green paddy field! ;)

Taking Time

Taking time to rest after a walking distance back to hotel.
Feels good to be able to go back earlier.
Looking out the window and it's a Saturday afternoon.
Here I am, taking photos, trying to capture what I always wanted to capture.
A Lomo effect photo.
Lazying on the couch, seeing the sunlight through the sheer curtains.
Resting my feet, they are "worn-out". Perhaps I should get a pedicure.
Resting on the couch, thinking what to eat for dinner.
Glad that it's an easy Saturday afternoon.

To Eat

At this very moment. I am very hungry. Many different food that I want to eat. That's why I'm creating this list, the To-Eat-List, in case I forgot.

1) Nasi Lemak /
2) Char Kuey Teow
3) Kanna Curry House's Banana Leaf Rice
4) Thai Food (Tom Yum Gong session) /
5) Bak Kut Teh (PJ Old Town)
6) Taman Bahagia's Fried Rice
7) 干炒河 + 咸菜豆腐汤 /
8) Nasi Sumatra /
9) Kao Jam
10) Pancakes
11) Dim Sum /
12) Bak Zhang
13) Karipap
14) 猪肠粉 /
15) Wan Tan Min /
16) Nasi Kukus (try to find)
17) Roti Naan, Roti Telur /
18) Nescafe O' Ais! /
19) Maggie Goreng /
20) 超级大鸡排
21) Roti Bakar + Telur
22) Umaiya
23) Cheese Cake + Black Coffee
24) Bumbu Bali
25) Char Kuey Kak /
26) Chicken Rice (Wai Sek Gai) /

没有拉希了玛的日子

没有拉希了玛的日子
我只能走到星空下
想念他的又辣又香
卡菲尔也一样
和拉希了玛好朋友相隔一地
变得静了许多

有时候康师傅会到来陪陪坐
由其是雨天更不用说
下午天晴相约卡菲尔
度过咖啡时间
也就认识了他的新朋友
曹粉，还有扬州来的曹范

美国肯德基来的朋友
也跟随我而来
在这常住的还有要好的麦先生
真不明白
为何住的那么远
只能有空再去参观他的汉堡吧

说到底
还是想念你，拉希了玛
想念穿青衣的你

Chess Set

Bought this chess set 1 year ago. It was a love at first sight as I walked past a furniture shop and saw this unique chess set just beside the display window. It caught my eyes as it's a crafted wooden chess set, with 1 drawer and a special gold key that locks and unlocks the drawer. :) I weighted it, it's heavy enough to feel real enough, so I bought it. ;)

Travelling...back home

So I'm back home again. Every time, I'm filled up with different feelings when I'm back to this familiar place, my home. This time I will be back for one week, and then off I go again to Haikou for another 3 weeks, it somehow feels like I'm back here for 1 week vacation.

I miss home, I miss this place, I miss the familiar faces, I miss the food and I miss jogging at the park and eat what I love to eat. I somehow miss staying at one place, to feel myself back on the ground again.

No doubt, traveling for my job does make me friends from different places. Seeing things you might not see if you travel for leisure, get to bathe in the different culture and cultivating thoughts and curiosity for the places and the people. Somehow the frequent to and fro, would drain your energy, and you just wish you stay at one place and travel for vacation is sufficient.

And so it is, I'm happy to be home. :)

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Hmmm, I’ve got to go home

- Michael Buble -

Everyone's Waiting

Froggie in the shallow well

Well...
Once upon a time
There lives a frog in a shallow well
His world is only as big as the circle of the well
No big wild thoughts, no big wild dreams
Never know that birds can fly..and wonder why he cant
Never know that snakes bite..and have to be afraid
Never know the million types of insects...and wanting to taste
Being simple in his simplest world

One day
An encyclopedia drops into the well
Not sure whether he's lucky that it doesn't smash on him
As he survives to see what the worlds unfold
Page by page he reads
The encyclopedia exposes the wild wild world
He decides that he should make the leap
Slowly he climbs and leap out to the world
And he sees what he wants to see, fear what he has to fear
He's part of the outside world now
There's no way going back to the well anymore
Back to the simplest life
to the simple thought
in the shallow
Well...

Reversing Regret

“What if today were my last day on earth? … the culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks - we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? … You need someone to probe you in that direction. It just won’t happen automatically.”

"Tuesdays with Morrie"

Bukit Kiara

Have always wanted to bring my camera here to take a few shots... :) Managed to come here with it and here they are...the photos..from Bukit Kiara.. :)

Comes from the heart...

"Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back.” - Tuesdays with Morrie

Sometimes, your heart makes you stand in the middle of a crossroad by sending 2 voices to your mind. One voice is strictly affected by what people are telling you what to do, the environment as well as the culture. Another voice comes deep down from your heart, trying to ask you to make your own choice, a choice which is right for you.

Life is always about taking chances and learning from mistakes. People always say, start your journey from your heart. I guess that's what they mean by doing what you feel is right and comfortable with.

We're always in the situation of crosschecking ourselves. Doing comparison and chasing over something which someone else is chasing at, without knowing whether that's something that we want for ourselves. So, don't go chasing, but chase only what makes you feel good feel peace with. :)

Hope that you're following closely to your heart and be happy with what you're doing. Listen to your heart when you feel lost, hope that it will guide you home. :)

Romantic

I just happened to flip through the lyrics of the Fang Da Tong's CD which I've just bought and found out the page which writes about the title - Romantic. He wrote a list of things which he thought were romantic.

So what are the things that are romantic to you?
For me, it would be...

Love.Sunrise.Sunset.Sea.Jazz.Song.Lyrics.Bench.Park.Night.Moon.Stars.Smile.Candy.Sweet.Autumn.Stroll.Leaves.Breeze.Blue Sky.Clouds.Italy.Maldives.Beach.River.Perfume.Winter.Storybook.Piano.Ebony.Cake.Coffee.Field.Waves.Black&White.Ivory.Vinyl.Musicbox.Feeling.Painting.Morning

身不由己

身不由己是，行动与心灵的不一致
身不由己是，再累也得想，再苦也得撑
身不由己是，对你的心声闭上耳朵
身不由己是，时刻必须衡量重要性
身不由己是，不理会你的感受
身不由己是，忘了自私
身不由己是，改变不了
身不由己是，是不再为了自己
身不由己是，累了也不能停下来
身不由己是，身边人的紧迫
身不由己是，顾虑别人，忘了自己

Zombie

Do you clearly know what you want? Do you do what you need to do in order to get what you want? Risk taker doesn't care what it would be making the right or left turn, as they explore taking the chance and do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. Do you consider yourself as one of them?

Everyday, you're struggling to find your niche in this world. Everyday, you're telling yourself that you can't waste another day again without feeling you've done something today. You're stuffing all the concerns inside your small heart, and express your concerns to someone you trust, and then, it becomes a babble to that someone and yourself.

Then, you feel tired of yourself and tired of the whole idea and culture. You start to accept that that's the reality and you concern no more. You move with the wave, just to make sure that you survive. The next thing, dreams and thoughts became a childish thing to you, coz you don't have the luxury to be talking about dreams. You ignore your needs, no longer express your thoughts, coz needs and thoughts make people hunger, and it will only add burden to you. Subsequently, you accept whatever that comes your way. In the end, numbness is what you felt.

Yes, that's how people turned into zombie I guess. Stereotype life.

All at Once

Lately, my life has been, "all at once". What I mean basically is, I'm getting so busy with the many things which come all at once. Never in my life I ever felt so occupied that I really don't have much time for myself. I've been wanting to be able to update my blogs once in a while, to get to write down what I always wanted to say in here. But all that I wanted to say, just stay on my mind, as I don't have the time to express them all out. So I'm going to take this time to write them out, all at once, in this blog. :)

I've been a busy juggler recently, juggling time with family, friends, social life, workout, work, free time, house chores and online business. Late dinner, late bath, and doing house chores after work. Now only I realise that it is really not easy for a woman or a mother to manage everything at one time and still got the time to stay fit and attractive. Husbands always complain about wives getting old, no makeups, no fancy dresses, but they never thought about how tough a working woman or working mum is doing. Have to clean up the house, do laundry, cook, take care of the baby and work while able to look slim and sexy for you, with manicures and pedicures and nice high heels. Guys, have a thought about this, and think how would you be manage to do that if you were them. ;) It's part of your responsibility too that they stay good in shape and look healthy. :)

Wish that I can slow down my pace, or maybe back to be a juggler who does not have to juggle her balls fast. I have been moving fast like crazy, afraid that I would waste the little time left for me after work. I know that time is what I need, but we all cant get more than 24 hours a day. I've been missing many of the nice movies that I wanted to watch in cinema, no extra time for my guitar and photo-taking and definitely no time for coffee-sipping.

Everyday is arranging to-do list on my notebook, arranging my work and time. Mult-tasking comes in eventually if you want to cope with what's on hands, then you will be stay out of focus, doing so many things at one time. In the end, you might stop and stare, what I've been doing all these while? Yeah, we're doing what we always do, chasing dreams, repeating the life routine until we're tired and in the end, we said, alright alright, at least I've done something while I was young.

Most probably, you would say, yeah, life's like that. That's what everybody is doing, why must you be the exceptional case? Alright, fine, we're pushed by our peers, our cultures, our urge to reach our own goals, one day we might be pushed to the edge yelling for help and showing the T sign...panting. Cool, I'm going to look for an alternative, shift and shift the position until it's all good. ;)

Finish up my "All at Once" in one long post and one long breath. Syiok, whew! :D

Moving it slow

After the movie with friends tonight, came back home and moving in a slow pace. Just as normal, boil water, clean the kitchen, but tonight, doing them all in slow pace. Just don't feel like making anything fast at all.

Not to grumble, but I'm really tired of thinking of so many things at one time, doing so many things at one time. The feeling's like you're in the middle of the sea, so tired of using all of your energy to swim, that you just can't stop, as you've been pushed by the waves all the time. You will drown if you stop.

List getting longer, tasks getting tougher, commitments getting bigger. Not trying to exaggerate, just that they are really the facts in life when you grow older.

Have not been getting a real vacation yet. Wish to have one in the near future. Somewhere that I can get away and rejuvenate.

One of these days...i'm so tired

I'm tired. Mentally and physically.
Maybe I worry too much. Maybe I can just close one eye.
Taking a short break has already become a to-do list.
I'm just tired. tired. tired