Zombie

Do you clearly know what you want? Do you do what you need to do in order to get what you want? Risk taker doesn't care what it would be making the right or left turn, as they explore taking the chance and do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. Do you consider yourself as one of them?

Everyday, you're struggling to find your niche in this world. Everyday, you're telling yourself that you can't waste another day again without feeling you've done something today. You're stuffing all the concerns inside your small heart, and express your concerns to someone you trust, and then, it becomes a babble to that someone and yourself.

Then, you feel tired of yourself and tired of the whole idea and culture. You start to accept that that's the reality and you concern no more. You move with the wave, just to make sure that you survive. The next thing, dreams and thoughts became a childish thing to you, coz you don't have the luxury to be talking about dreams. You ignore your needs, no longer express your thoughts, coz needs and thoughts make people hunger, and it will only add burden to you. Subsequently, you accept whatever that comes your way. In the end, numbness is what you felt.

Yes, that's how people turned into zombie I guess. Stereotype life.

All at Once

Lately, my life has been, "all at once". What I mean basically is, I'm getting so busy with the many things which come all at once. Never in my life I ever felt so occupied that I really don't have much time for myself. I've been wanting to be able to update my blogs once in a while, to get to write down what I always wanted to say in here. But all that I wanted to say, just stay on my mind, as I don't have the time to express them all out. So I'm going to take this time to write them out, all at once, in this blog. :)

I've been a busy juggler recently, juggling time with family, friends, social life, workout, work, free time, house chores and online business. Late dinner, late bath, and doing house chores after work. Now only I realise that it is really not easy for a woman or a mother to manage everything at one time and still got the time to stay fit and attractive. Husbands always complain about wives getting old, no makeups, no fancy dresses, but they never thought about how tough a working woman or working mum is doing. Have to clean up the house, do laundry, cook, take care of the baby and work while able to look slim and sexy for you, with manicures and pedicures and nice high heels. Guys, have a thought about this, and think how would you be manage to do that if you were them. ;) It's part of your responsibility too that they stay good in shape and look healthy. :)

Wish that I can slow down my pace, or maybe back to be a juggler who does not have to juggle her balls fast. I have been moving fast like crazy, afraid that I would waste the little time left for me after work. I know that time is what I need, but we all cant get more than 24 hours a day. I've been missing many of the nice movies that I wanted to watch in cinema, no extra time for my guitar and photo-taking and definitely no time for coffee-sipping.

Everyday is arranging to-do list on my notebook, arranging my work and time. Mult-tasking comes in eventually if you want to cope with what's on hands, then you will be stay out of focus, doing so many things at one time. In the end, you might stop and stare, what I've been doing all these while? Yeah, we're doing what we always do, chasing dreams, repeating the life routine until we're tired and in the end, we said, alright alright, at least I've done something while I was young.

Most probably, you would say, yeah, life's like that. That's what everybody is doing, why must you be the exceptional case? Alright, fine, we're pushed by our peers, our cultures, our urge to reach our own goals, one day we might be pushed to the edge yelling for help and showing the T sign...panting. Cool, I'm going to look for an alternative, shift and shift the position until it's all good. ;)

Finish up my "All at Once" in one long post and one long breath. Syiok, whew! :D

Moving it slow

After the movie with friends tonight, came back home and moving in a slow pace. Just as normal, boil water, clean the kitchen, but tonight, doing them all in slow pace. Just don't feel like making anything fast at all.

Not to grumble, but I'm really tired of thinking of so many things at one time, doing so many things at one time. The feeling's like you're in the middle of the sea, so tired of using all of your energy to swim, that you just can't stop, as you've been pushed by the waves all the time. You will drown if you stop.

List getting longer, tasks getting tougher, commitments getting bigger. Not trying to exaggerate, just that they are really the facts in life when you grow older.

Have not been getting a real vacation yet. Wish to have one in the near future. Somewhere that I can get away and rejuvenate.

One of these days...i'm so tired

I'm tired. Mentally and physically.
Maybe I worry too much. Maybe I can just close one eye.
Taking a short break has already become a to-do list.
I'm just tired. tired. tired