No I'm not colour blind
I know the world is black and white
I try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
Don't know how else to say it
I don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own
Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to stay that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight"
"You'll renegotiate"
"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
Honestly we'll never stop this train"
Once in a while
When it's good
It will feel like it should
And they all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
***
John Mayer
Afraid of the running time. The more you're chasing at it, the faster it is running away. I feel that I'm not able to catch up with it. Getting older and one thing I realise is, the unit of measurement of time changes from a small scale to a larger scale. Instead of counting by hours, it is now counting by weeks, going towards months. Is that what my elders have been trying to make me understand all these while?
I remember there's once, when my father brought grandma to meet one of her old friends. Whom she had not been meeting since 40 years ago. After 40 years, they're both in their 70's and 80's. At that time, grandma's eyesight were not that good, and I remember the aunty was not able to walk, sitting in a wheel chair. I was quite young that time, but I can still remember, they had so many things to chat about, and when it's time to leave, I remember both of them holding each other's hands hard, weeping and saying, "Maybe this is the last time we see each other." I wasn't able to understand it, just thought about telling grandma and aunty, please don't say that, it's not good to say like this. When come to think about it now, I realise, how much pain it was, to knowing the truth of life, to not be able to buy back time when there's not much time to be spent. There're times, when we're straining ourselves, try to fight back the reality, asking why. Maybe it's true, as the lyrics said, "turn sixty-eight, and you'll renegotiate". You will not be that stubborn.
Thus, try to fully utilise the time for the favourite things. Not willing to sleep until I'm tired. Well, guess I should now, after getting down with the writing down.
